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••• Monday, August 18, 2003

Loose Ends of Summer 

I'm in mildly manicky panicky mode today. My summer break is over.

And please, I'm not asking for sympathy or pity. Neither am I complaining...really, I'm not. But there's something about the close of this annual 10 week indulgence that makes me feel like a spoiled brat and totally unappreciative of what I have been bestowed. I always want more. More! More! More!

I know how lucky I am. I used to work in the "real world," sort of. I worked for 13 years in a residential facility for adolescents. My job details included expected (or hoped for) after work-hours availability, for consultation as needed. If I didn't get at least one call a night, it would be unusual. One weekend a month, I had to carry an on-call pager to be available for consultation on all the clients (about 40 kids).

Working with this caliber of client, in this particular setting, there was hardly ever a dull moment. But neither was there any getting away from it. The agency provided four weeks of paid vacation (to counter the sucky pay and high stress levels) but I never dared take a two week block at any time because:
1) if you didn't leave town, they'd call ya anyway.
2) Two weeks away would usually mean four weeks of cleaning up upon return.
3) No matter how long the vacation, or how far away...my mind never left the place for long.

And there was never a definitive feeling of being "done." The day after a student was discharged, another was placed. When school was out for the summer, the kids came "home" to us. They were our responsibility every hour of every day for 10 weeks.

But working in a school system, every June my job comes to an end, followed by a splendid hiatus. It always comes to and end, mind you. I couldn't stop it if I wanted to (as if). No matter how bad a year, no matter how stressful or how many stupid things I did, we all get to leave in June.

Truly, I am very, very appreciative of this perk. Therefore I am always surprised and appalled at the butt-kicking, breath-stealing resentment I experience when the "Hope You had a Restful Summer But Now it's Time to Get Your Slackin' Asses Back to Work" memos begin arriving in the mail, mid-August.

Resentment aside, these memos are a good idea for easing the vacationer back into more grueling climes. Like the snooze function on the alarm clock.

First Alarm: An envelope arrives in the mail, with my employer's return address.

I don't open it. ::hit snooze::

Second Alarm: Three days later, a second envelope from my department supervisor arrives. I open it because it might contain some interesting personnel/policy scoops. Enclosed is an agenda for our first day back. On the 21st. The 21st? We have to go back on the 21st? I'll bet that first alarm letter mentioned that. I should open that....some time.

I don't open it again. ::hit snooze second time::

Third Alarm: I am reminded that my daycare provider takes a vacation that first week I'm back to work. I probably need to make alternate daycare arrangements. I'll bet the alternate arrangee needs some information...dates, times, etc.

::okay, I'm up::

So now I'm awake, but I'm not happy. They expect me to come back to work..already? And they're probably going to want something from me, like a thought or an idea.

Once I get through this week (or two) of grieving the loss of projects unknit, beaches unvisited and Blogs unwritten, I really will be happy to get back to the grind. I miss the rapport and banter of cohorts. I miss the kids and their sweet, adolescent goofs.

And truth be, I'm not cut out to be a stay at home human. I'm disorganized, I procrastinate and am easily distracted. I don't supervise myself very well and neither do I readily accept supervision. I'm the only person I know who can make a mess while cleaning. If I spend the morning spinning my tires, I'll likely spend the afternoon contemplating the resulting tread marks. And then there's the toilet paper factor. I've made the discovery that the more time people spend in the home, the more toilet paper they use. I'm tired of the changing rolls.

And I really love my job. I just want one more week.

Bagging it Up
I started the Suki-like bag. It's going pretty fast and is lots of fun. I took some artistic license with the design. Mostly in using only two colors. I didn't really like the pink with the other two.

I also added a row each to the color blocks. I would like to say that this decision was based on some kind of artistic vision in relation to going from three colors to two. I would like to say that, but I can't. It's because on the first color pattern series, I counted two rows, when there really three. I didn't catch it until I realized that the larger block was a row longer than I thought as well. Odd, I've always been able to count rows pretty well...maybe it's a circular thing.

Suki, Sort-of


You might be wondering about the interesting, perhaps even pleasantly surprising color choice for the eyelash. I'd like to say I had an artistically surprising vision of something unpredictable, yet effective. I'd like to say that, but I can't. Truth be, I was hot to trot to start this project and the only readily available yarn source was Michael's. This Lion's eyelash color was the only one that had a hint of either color in it. A hint of lemon-lime green is evident.... in a certain light.

My Mission Falls Turtleneck kit arrived. My stash is increasing much faster than I am able to put it away, let alone knit it. Unfortunately, this item will probably be topping my projects to consider list next summer...so far away. ::sigh:: But the colors are pretty and its very soft.



I really need to get going. I have about 10 weeks worth of laundry awaiting perusal in the basement. You think I'm kidding.....

edited 8-19-03 12:10 am

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# posted by Marcia @ 11:41 AM


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