But I'm having second thoughts. I'm thinking that maybe we all should've dated awhile before making any promises.

There's something weird about this place. I've come to the conclusion that all the employees have had their brains sucked out (probably via the suction hose...I'm sure they've sucked some brain matter through my sinus cavities) and replaced with a software from which is elicited only proper dental care etiquette, rhetoric and propaganda.

I've joined the Stepford Wives Dental Practice of Oral Purity.

Yesterday I was fitted for a crown. They did about three impressions. Each time she removed the gunk, the Assistant said "Super job, Marcia. Thank you!" Thank you? For what? For not swallowing the two inch globular of silly putty? For making a good impression?

I once tested my Stepford hypothesis by blurting out "my dog eats poop" in the middle of the hygienist's speech on gum disease. It took a few seconds (and I swear I heard the hard drive chuggin') before she came back with "Eating poop can lead to bad breath and irreparable tooth discoloration."

I think the office manager has an upgraded system which includes proper verbage for selling advanced restorative services and filling empty appointment pages. She commits to memory every patient's insurance allowance, deductibles and renewal dates.

Strange as this bunch is, I'm thinking that I might hang around awhile. Maybe I'm finding comfort in the benign predictability of scripted relationships. Maybe I appreciate that they've reprogrammed everyone to laugh at my cornball comments.

Or maybe I heard a rumor that they've hired a new girl with Cyber Cafe and ATM capabilities.

By the Skein of my Teeth
Today (Wednesday) I'm expecting delivery of a package of yarn. Six skeins of Indulgence. I call it Limy Green, they call it something like "Get- Another- Hook -in- her- Before -Totally -Reeling -her- in- Green." "They" is the Teddies at Threadbear Fiber Arts Studio. The Indulgence is a steal....at half off.

I remember my momma telling me to beware of strangers. And if a stranger in the park offers you a bag, she implored, just turn and run. Run Away. Momma knew her stuff.

Labels: Dental Hijinx, Fur