<$BlogRSDUrl$>

••• Friday, October 03, 2003

Happy Birthday, Babies
I won't be posting much over the next few days. I'm going to be partying. Tomorrow The Cakers turns 2 years old. The following day big brother turns 17.

The only thing weirder than this polarized picture of motherhood, for me, is this actual picture, of me, taken exactly two years ago tonight.

I have to admit, the shot doesn't capture the enormity of the situation. I was a walking, talking torpedo. A veritable freak of nay-cha.

People would stop and stare. Once, a grocery store cashier just busted out laughing at the sight of me. She was immediately embarrassed and apologized over and over. She was young. Unaware of the danger.

Another time, a stranger apologized for staring, then sheepishly explained that he was merely trying to figure out how I wasn't falling over.

For size perspective, under that shirt, I'm wearing a size DD bra, the cups of which my boobs wore like tiny yarmulkes.

My husband is the only surviving child of his parents, and married late in life. His folks had all but given up on the hope of having grandchildren. Needless to say, they were thrilled with the news that I was carrying.

I became an instant family celebrity. A heroine. A holy vessel. They brought me gifts of balm, clothing and trinkets.

And best of all, they brought me gifts of beef.

Beef was my gestational fancy. I craved it. I dreamt about it. I consumed burgers and steaks with wild abandon. As I salivated over the thought of a Steak-n-Shake Frisco, I could smell the fires of my cave dwelling foremothers and heard their collective grunts of approval.

I did eat a balanced diet. My other craving was canned green beans. A serving dish of which I could hardly get to the dinner table without sticking my face in it. I know...what the yuck?

But I'm not going to apologize for any of it. Only results matter.

Not bad for "ol raisin eggs."

Here's to old ladies having babies.

Labels: ,


# posted by Marcia @ 10:32 PM


Comments: Post a Comment