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••• Thursday, November 06, 2003

Scents and Scentsibility
As I posted last week, I have an overly receptive olfactory mechanism. This special blessing is not limited to the sniffing out of hygienic anomalies around the homestead. Sometimes I experience what I refer to as "Theme Smells."

Theme Smells hang around my nose for a few days at a time, sometimes up to a week. Theme Smells are typically indigenous to a specific location and are without apparent etiology.

Last summer it was the smell of bleach in my bedroom (this theme has replayed once or twice since). Another time it was the faint hint of a dead animal, but only when I sat at my computer and only in the morning. Side note:: Yes I looked for dead carcii.

Current Theme Smell: Wet toilet paper. In my car.

The first time I noticed the theme phenomenon was a few years ago, when I repeatedly smelled old lady perfume in my office. A close friend was convinced that this scent represented her recently deceased aunt trying to make contact with her, through me and my nose.

While that concept was mildly intriguing, I was somewhat disturbed at the thought of my orifices becoming unwitting portals to the nether world. Would I then feel compelled to operate a psychic hotline from my bathroom? Could I make millions channeling flatulence of the rich and famous?

And My Point Is
I've been looking around the blogpen and thinking I need to spruce up the place a bit. Add a little excitement. For awhile I considered hooking up with the Imood iconic mood face thangy that is featured on several blogs around the ring.

After further consideration, however, I decided the "mood face" feature was not for me. While I think it's a fun little doo-hicky, I know that for me to have to pick the perfect affective representation, day-to-day, would be agonizing.

Because I'm social worky, I would likely hold myself to a higher standard of affective acuity.

Because I'm neurotic as hell, I'd spend hours dwelling in self-mood-icon-introspection.

I also picture myself making a mood selection, changing my mind, changing the mood-icon, then changing my mind again. Eventually I would become imobilized by indecision. At the brink of psychosis, I would give up and make a permanent selection of the "I feel ever so ambivalent" face. Yeah, that sounds like fun.

So no mood-icons for me. And I feel ever so "okay" about that.

What I need is a Smellicon system. A software like IMood, that allows me quick and easy access to and selection of an accurate representation of my current aromatic functioning.

Unfortunately, there are no Smellicon programs. I Googled. I Jeeved. I Alta-ed all Vistas. And I've nothing to show for it, but the smell of burning mouseball.

If I were able to create the perfect Smellicon program, it would look something like this (the word "face" would be replaced by an applicable emoticon expression)

Today I smell.......(insert a selection from below)
-Tuna salad with celery salt (shows hungry face).
-Cat tooters. (shows lovingly disgusted face).
-New Barbie on Christmas Morning. (shows enraptured face)
-Ajax on a mildewy sponge (shows Ajax-on-a-mildewy-sponge-is-not-a-good-substitute-for-a BufPuf- overexolifated face).
-The inside of a rubber glove. (Shows why-are-you-sniffing-the-inside-of-a-rubber-glove face?) or did-you-take-your-medicine-today? face).


I wonder what "She's come unplugged." smells like?

# posted by Marcia @ 8:29 PM


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