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••• Friday, May 07, 2004

Fried Day
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once - Jennifer Unlimited

Work is nuts. It's complicated and dull in detail, but let's just say from now until June 4, I'm running the school so*cial work equivalent of a one-person taquieria, in a perpetual state of lunch rush.

Mon Motto de Mai:
No demand too unreasonable.
No expectation too high.
No notice too short.
Occasional Suckerpunch expected.

I know, I know...I get summers off. I'm not complainin', I'm just sayin'.

Felons of the Fur
Yesterday, we get a letter in the mail from a neighbor who lives two doors down. It was a fairly long piece (one-plus legal size pages, longhand). The letter hyperbolized two concerns as follows:

1. Cheddar pooped in her yard right outside her window, while she and her husband were eating breakfast. She was repulsed. She has lived on this street for 43 years and she is entitled to more respect.

2. Every day, our cat Bella looks into their family room window, which causes their housebound male cat to spontaneously piss himself.

Dear Mrs. Haffabrane,
I'm sorry that my dog pooped in your yard. I agree, 43 years of living on this block definitely entitles you to better treatment. Respectively, we accept our lowly status of Newcomer, which entitles tenured neighbors (and their children, pets, realtors, Bible Study group...etc.) to crap, whizz, hurl and/or fornicate in our yard, with impunity.

Had you come to us earlier, you could have saved yourself the trouble of cleaning up. We could have told you that Cheddar would eventually return to the scene, to clean up after himself. How's that visual for a breakfast conversation starter? (and you thought witnessing the actual act was repulsive at mealtime....)

I also apologize for my Bella causing your poor cat to burst into spontaneous whizz, with just a look. Back in the day, I was known to bust a bladder or two, with only a passing glance. I know too well that the power to wreak a leak can be dangerous in the wrong paws. Fortunately for all, your husband appears to be immune to Bella's wiles.

On behalf of my entirely family, please accept this heartfelt apology and know that we feel so fortunate simply being allowed to live on this street. We can only hope and pray that someday we'll be deserving of someone actually speaking to us. Meanwhile... next time you reach for the garage remote, could you keep a friendly thought?
# posted by Marcia @ 7:30 AM


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