••• Saturday, October 23, 2004

Knits and Knubs
My brother is here from San Francisco. Tomorrow we're having a big party in celebration of my other brother's safe return from "scary job across the seas" and the impending birth of his first grandchild.

This Week's Google Hilaria
"Phallic bedpost designs"
"smell the essence of my crotch"
"skinny uvula"

Hmmm...I'll be first on the google list when someone is looking for lyrics to the children's folk favorite "Does Your Uvula Lose Phallic Essence on The Bedpost, Overnight?"

Things That Knit Up My Last Nerve
1. Excelerate. Thump.
Decelerate. Thump.
Stop. Thump,thump.
Go. ::pause:: Thump.

That is the sound of a basketball in the cargo bay of my vehicle, while I'm in a traffic fuster cluck on the interstate, trying to get home on a Friday afternoon. The ensuing seethe made my worst PMS-induced fantasy look like a float in the park with Good Witch Glenda.

2. Garter Squares. About 2 inches into each square, I feel like it's going faster than I thought it would. I say to self "This isn't so bad. Why are you such a baby?" And the heat of the impending Blaze is palpable.

By inch 5, however, I realize I fell once more for the "garter square illusion" and I'm still inches and hours from smelling the essence of another garter crotch notch on my bedpost.

3. Charitable People

Things That Knit Me Happy
1. Charitable People.

2. Going to my yarn bin in search of yarn to knit up another little baby something for another little baby shower, and finding this. It was still on the needles, about 20 stitches from being totally cast-off. I can't imagine why I'd stuff it away, that close to the finish. The yarn is scrumptious, but I have no idea what it is. It has a heavy, substantial feel, but is very soft as well. Here's a closeup. (Do you know this yarn?)
Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm
My husband noticed that our patio table had been positioned under the balcony that runs off my son’s bedroom. There is one basketball shoe footprint in the dust. We have a couple of days to think up a plan of entrapment. L'il shit.

Things That Make Go “I gotta go! Now!”
The Cakers just walked into the room with my favorite lipstick all over her face.

Have a great weekend.

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