Ode to a Graduation Open House
By Marcy May

"Open House," sounds so friendly.
Come here to break the bread.
Come enjoy the cumpney.
(After docs exam my head.)

‘Cause I’m not real good at social.
Rather comb ass hair with rake.
And I’m not real good at planning,
Unless it’s my escape,

From a scrutiny worse than GYN-o,
Under guise of friendly chat.
"You went to Junior College...?
Well…there’s nothing wrong with that."

Please, have another crumpet.
And sit upon this chair.
I hear you are a strumpet,
And your husband waxes there.

I saw you at the grocery,
How you quickly looked away.
Now you sip my finest Pinot,
And scarf down my buffet.

So sad you must be going.
So glad you came to munch.
I hope you won’t be bothered
By the Valium in the punch.