••• Thursday, June 16, 2005

How I Spent My Summer Vacation 

On the First Day of Summer Vacation, I got up, went to the yarn shop, then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

On the Second Day of Summer Vacation, I got up, knit a swatch of my new yarn, burned out my retinas, then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

On The Third Day of Summer Vacation, I got up, introduced my three year-old daughter to the Joys of Candyland, then remembered the True Joys of Candyland, then I tried to gouge my eyes out with a rusty fondue fork, then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

The End.

That new batch of yarn is Plymouth Fantasy. A worsted weight, mercerized cotton. It doesn't look as mercerizy as other yarns of its ilk, and it's pretty soft. When I grabbed it from the sale bin, I thought I was getting a deal at 30% off. At the checkout, the yarn shop owner gave me 40% off, as a reward for buying the last of it,because she really doesn't care for the color.


::She's a nice lady, but a bit of a beehead, which is old slang for bumbling, I believe, but I can't find it in an online dictionary, to save my bumbling ass.::

I'd link to the yarn shop website, but I think the owner has developed a soft spot for me, and if she has a site meter, she could find my blog, and read it, and she may not approve of my use of the F word or my taking the name of Baby Jesus in bathing suit vain, and she might stop giving me extra deals on ugly yarn and start to follow me around the shop, like I'm some kind of common, blaspheming,yarn whore.

But then again, she's kind of ditzy. She may not know that she has a website.

At the back of the yarn store is a little bead shop, where they also sell handmade jewelry. I picked up this little Cleopatric number, for only 12 bucks. It's just gold toned disc and seed beads, on stretchy string. Striking, no?

(The picture was taken on one of the 90 degreed days. I was a bit, well, retentive. )

About Candyland....They've made some significant changes since I last played this game, about 12 years ago. I clearly remember that last game, with my son. It was Candyland Game from Willie Wonkonian Hell. This game would not end.

It went at least an hour.

At least.

We went through the card deck, at least four times.

At least.

And every time someone would approach the finish, he/she would draw a newly reshuffled "Mr. Plumpy" card, and have to go way back to the beginning. Then the other player would draw a card, that sent him/her way back, to nearly the beginning. Then we'd run out of cards, restock, get almost to the end, and along comes Mr. Plumpy. Again.

After about 45 minutes, I tried to give us an out and call it a tie, but my boy was a bit competitive (those jock types, I swear!) and wanted to see it through.

I must of did Mr. Plumpy at least three times, that day.

At least.

Finally, I thought to sneak Mr. Plumpy out of the pile, during a card reshuffle-reload sequence. Sans the Plump One, we still ended up going through the entire deck. And when Cam was three squares from the end, and about to draw the last card of the pile, he started crying. Because he knew it was Mr. Plumpy.

When he finally picked it up, and saw that it wasn't Mr. P., but a color square that won him the game, he cried some more. Because I cheated. By pulling out Mr. Plumpy.

Game over.
Never to be played, again.

So, twas a tad ironic that I was disappointed to see that Milton Bradley has removed Mr. Plumpy from the Candyland lineup. And why did they replace Queen Frostine, with her daughter, the Princess? That doesn't even rhyme.

I seem to recall hearing tales, back in the day, about the Candyland board being used as an adult sex game. I think they called it CandyAss. If that was the case, I guess Mr.Plumpy could be taken in more than one way. And give the game a bad name.

Anyhoo, they have improved the rules of Candyland, for the sake of expeditousness and sensitivity to the fragile ego of a young child. For example, if you draw a character card that sends you backwards, you now disregard it, and draw again. And you no longer need to draw a purple square (I believe purple was the last square, on the old board?) to win. The last square is a rainbow of colors.

Also, remember the squares with the black dots? Where you'd be stuck until you drew a card of the same color? They have replaced those evil black holes with licorice squares, where upon landing, you only skip one turn, instead of the potential 5 or 6 turns(a game dynamic which is hard to explain to a crying, stuck three-year old.)

So, I hearby declare the Candyland changes are definitely for the better. Although, I miss me Mr. Plumpy, something awful.

Over and Out
After enjoying four days of gorgeous, sunny, hot weather, it's now rainy and overcast. And cold. One shut-in day, with the Cakers and the inlaws, was tolerable. The thought of a second such day, with the Cakers (no inlaws), is enough to send me packing. Especially since she woke up at 5:30 this morning. And will soon be psychotic with fatigue.

With the forecast calling for three more days of this crap, (weather,Cakers,whatnot), today we're heading home. It's supposed to heat up again next week, at which point we'll return.

Oh yeah, when I told Cakers "You got up very early this morning." She tossed her hair, and said "Thank You."

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