…Got you on my, my-hind.

That was my husband, singing to me, first thing this morning.

“Uh, honey?” I sez.

“Yeah?”

“I hate to smack down a precious, romantic, albeit off-key moment, but, ummm, that’s a break-up song.”

“It is? That’s stupid.”

“Have you ever listened to the lyrics?"

"Uh, no."



Anyway, here we are, six years (and 15 pounds and ½ head of gray) ago, today.

Because I could not think of any other even mildly anniversary-related songs for dedication to my big guy, on this most auspicious occasion, I hereby bastardize this Johnny Cash favorite.

So, my darling man,
Without further ado,
A lyrical anomaly,
Messed up just for you:

If you were a Carpenter
And I were a lady,
You'd sing Close To You.
I'd have your baby.

If a thinker was your trade,
I would still find you.
Carrying the thoughts you made.
Clarifying behind you.

If your hands were made of wood,
Would I still love you?
I’d answer “I think I could."
"If you’d just remind me.”

If you were Steve Miller
Flying like an Eagle,
I’d walk your dog, below.
A cute little Beagle.

Save my love through loneliness.
Save my love through sorrow.
I give you my onliness.
Give me your tomorrow.

(Heartfelt apologies to John and June Carter Cash. Original lyrics found here.)

Happy Anniversary Baby. Got on my mind.

Would that it were 26 years instead of these piddly six, except you would've been in, like, middle school or something, at the time. Then I'd be, like, in jail.

But, well, you know what I mean.
Love You Huge.