••• Saturday, November 26, 2005

They Came, They Saw, They Tooted 

Thanksgiving Dinner was a rousing success.

The good:
-Turkey rocked.
-Gravy really rocked.
-One oven mitt didn’t catch fire.
The bad:
-One oven mitt caught fire.
-I acquired a first degree burn after sticking my thumb into the fresh-from-the-micro mashed potatoes. ::Why? Well, to see if they were hot. Duh. They were. I’m a pretty good cook. But I don’t cook pretty.::
-I melted a knob on my stovetop while making the gravy
The scary:
I almost strained the gravy, and all it’s Martha-ly* goodness, down the sink. For some reason, every year, my dinner guests like to stand next to the stove and ask me probing questions about my general health and hygiene practices, as I brown my bits, for the good of the gravy nation. This is not a good thing, on account of me having the ADHD, which means I’m always an impulse away from a total fuck pas du jus. Luckily, as I was about to dump the load into the colander, in the sink, I realized I needed a sieve, not a colander. Even a goof like myself knows that a sieve needs a bowl. Whew.
Yesterday was spent cleaning up and running about 8000 loads of dishes.
And on third day. She sat on her ass.

Ether Or
The last three times my son has come home from college, at very nearly the very moment he walks into the house, my Comcast goes out. (okay, maybe it’s very nearly the moment he fires up his computer) The first time it happened, it was too random for a second thought. The second time, I took notice but didn’t say anything, because it sounded so stupid. The third time (this weekend), my son made the observation, about this now impossible to ignore pattern.

As you might remember, we’ve had this love/hate thing with Comcast since last spring. For the past couple months, however, and aside from this glitch with the boy, all things wireless have been full stream ahead. But still, this is a problem. And we're tired of problems. Even if it's an issue just once a month, we're just not putting up with it.

We’ve had enough.
We have our standards.
We will no longer compromise.

So, after a couple late night and emotion-laden discussions about priorities and realities and self-respect, my husband and I have come to a decision.

I’m sure gonna miss that boy.

*I used Martha’s method of tossing carrots, celery, onion and the turkey neckbone under the meat rack in the roasting pain. After the birdie is perty, you brown the veggies further, on the stove top for awhile. Add some wine and water and flour and stir and strain. And Mmmm. I’m telling you. This stuff is The Shit.


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