••• Thursday, December 01, 2005


The other night, while sitting on the couch (working on this wristwarmer), I hear the sound that strikes fear in the hearts of all cat owners: The asthmatic, convulsive wheeze of a barfing puss.

I look up, and there, at the other end of my very (very) long couch, is my sweet Bella. Much to my horror, she has assumed the contorted, alien-esque posture of a cat fixin' to blow chunks of warm, moist, foamy wads of Kit-N-Kaboodle, upon her owner's new, as yet unzippered, Scarf Collared Vogue Cardie.

"Fock!Fock!Fock!No....!!!" I scream, as I propel myself across the floor, ::Enter Bionic Woman sound effect.::

Poor Bella. Obviously the girl ain't feeling well. Imagine her further dismay, as her obscenity-driven momma,via the efficient Pounce and Scoop move, flings her retching, furry ass over the back of the couch. Mid hurl. And more than a nano second too late.

This here is a simulation of the results (no cat vomit was harmed in this re-enactment*):

*That is not real cat puke. It’s a special concoction I created, using cat food, water and microwave. If anyone is interested in manufacturing cat-puke, I’ll be happy to share the recipe. For what it’s worth, next time I might try Froot Loops, for enhanced visual impact.::

Is it just me, or is it gross in here?

"If you lose your job, your marriage, and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won't matter that much."-Jack Handey

P.S. Wristwarmer pattern found here. Yarn is yet more, left over Mission Falls 1824 wool. I added one cable repeat. Next time, I'm going circular.

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