This morning I received a magical, benignly anticipated, 6:00 a.m. phone call, which brought me tidings of great joy: A three-day weekend, baybee, courtesy of Grand Dame Mutha Naytcha.

It was the first Snow Day of the year, a blessed event, Weatherdicks notwithstanding. ::My thoughts on the frothing, hyperbolic, local fraternity of doppler douchebags will have to wait another day. Snow Days are happy thoughts. Only.::

For those of you who are Snow Day Challenged (Formerly known as Snowtards.), and have never known the joy of a spontaneous,guilt-free day-off from school* or work, I'm going to walk you through the intricacies of Snow Day regulation, starting with immediately after the 6am phone call.

1. Dance.

2. Toyota jump/air punch.

3. Turn on the TV and view the list of school closings. ::It's not that you don't trust the veracity of the information provided via the phone chain. It's that the viewing of your school's name on the school closing list is the ultimate, universal Snow Day blessing. Not only is it the supreme validation, it brings good Snow Day luck.::

4. Go back to bed.

5. Get out of bed. You're too geeked to sleep. ::It's hard to get back to sleep after taking a shower. It's really hard to get back to sleep after the snowplow dude shows up and commences to make the sound of a giant, rusty cheese grater being dragged up and down the front of a brick house. Your brick house.::

6. Get up and do whatever the hell you want. NO CHORES ALLOWED. The gift of the Snow Day must Never, Ever be used for the pursuit of mundane achievement. This makes for very bad Snow Day karma. Bad. Very. ::My husband still struggles with the impulsive thought that a Snow Day for me is a House Ho'Day for him. Earlier this week, when we were mistakenly promised a Snow Day Tomorrow by the local weathertards, my husband made the mistake of suggesting that I spend the anticipated day off, cleaning closets. He was quickly corrected. Well, we were all slowly corrected when the 6-10 projected inches turned out to be a snow burp.

7. Wear pajamas all day. Dental hygiene optional.

So, what did I do all day?

More Twisted Wrister:



Suppa Zuppa.
This is the start of a great soup recipe I tried for the first time. It's called Chicken Vegetable Stracciatella:



I love to cook when I have the time to do it right. Cooking a hearty meal on a Snow Day, brings me great joy. Today I made a double batch, and assigned one half to the freezer, which makes me very happy. Therefore, this activity does not constitute the verboten, mundane task for a Snow Day. My husband said it was the best chicken soup he had ever tasted. And that it was definitely better than having a clean closet. I made him say that last part twice. Bitch don't do Snow Days.

Playing With MySqrlyGrly



The Cakers is currently into role reversal fantasy play. She plays the momma and I'm her daughter. Except she calls me "granddaughter." But I don't trifle. Her favorite activity with the role play, is to help me pick out an outfit to wear to my birthday party.

You see all those outfits on the floor, in the picture? Each one is comprised of a separate piece of skirt, top, headdress and something to carry. Her very most favorite thing is to ask me to pick an outfit, piece by piece. After I'm done with my selection, she then picks it apart, piece by piece.

Homey Mom plays dat, on account of being a flexible kinda gal. But Homey Cakers don't play dat, on account of, I don't know what. Bottom line: There's no right answer. Ever. Every choice I made was initially questioned, then vetoed by "my mom." When I finally caved and agreed with her idea, she tried convincing me that my first choice was the best one. Suddenly, I saw my future-life flashing before me. And I trembled in fear. But this was a Snow Day. And it was good.

Don't Be a Snow Day Hater
Just look at the knife.



Did ya get a good look?
If not, then look again.

The Snow-Day-Challenged Compassionate Giveaway
A cutting-edge contest.
Details coming soon.
Look at the knife.
And wonder.
From where it came.
And when.

*I come by my Snow Day enthusiasm honestly. I was at Michigan State during the Great Blizzard of '78. ::Gawd I loves me an unexpected rhyme:: Closed down the university for the first time in its history. At mid-fucking-term exam time.

Way.