••• Monday, December 12, 2005

Snowtard's Revenge 

A Contest
First of all, please excuse the filthy appearance of my knife and related surroundings. I took the picture while in the middle of a Snow Day Soup Creation. And that's parsley on the counter. Not rat shit.

k. The contest.

I've owned this steak knife for over 20 years. I was married to another man, when I bought this knife through a catalog vendor. I had ordered a cheap-ass, flatware set, which included a free set of steak knives, as a bonus. The flatware had the same wooden handles as this knife, which caused the pieces to roll onto their sides when placed on the table. The bowls on the t-spoons were flat as a spatula, which rendered them useless for eating cereal, but quite handy for squashing ants, two at a time. The fork prongs bent if you looked at'em sideways.

Long story moderately shorter, I gave/threw away the flatware,but the steak knives became my main kitchen squeeze. Then, one-by-one,the knives warped,splintered or otherwise degraded themselves out of my life.

All but this little guy. My kitchen soul survivor, who single-bladedly serrated me through a marriage, the birthin' of baby boy, graduate school, a divorce and relocation, a new beau, a dumped beau, another new beau, another marriage, another birthin' of a baby and two more relocations. And two cats. And a dog. ::I really had intended on this presentation being a bit more on the clever side. But I'm tired. And damn, if clever don't hurt on a day like this.::

So, back to the contest:
1) In what year did I buy this knife? ::I'm not sure of the exact year, because I only remember where I was living when I bought the set. And I only lived in this particular apartment for one 12-month period, in 19-blahblah and 19-blahsieblah. So yes, what I'm telling you is that the correct answer will be one out of two possible.::

Hints for the time frame:
I was doing her.....

I was making these....

On the radio I heard....Donna Summer, Eurythmics, Police, Men at Work, Prince, Duran Duran, Violent Femmes, David Bowie.

On TV I watched....St. Elsewhere, Hillstreet Blues, Falcon Crest, M*A*S*H (for a little while, anyway.)

2) From what mail order catalog did I purchase the flatware and steak knives?
Hints: The mail order catalog is still around today. Of course, they have a website. On a given Sunday, you might see them in a Parade. Back in 19-Blahblah or 19-blahsieblah, this company sold everything on "time," or credit. I paid about $4.99 a month for this stack of shit (not talking 'bout the steak knives, of course), over the course of a year. Interest was about 20%. Gave me a good credit rating, though. And a really pissed off anal-retentive-control-fuck hubby ::Is steak knife supposed to be a compound word? It seems like it should be, but all those K's together, in the middle, kind of scare me.::
The Prize: Two skeins of Wool-Pak, 8-Ply in Periwinkle. 250 grams and 525 yards a piece. ::Yes, there is only one skein featured. I have another. No, really.::

A review: To win, you must correctly identify, in comments, one out of the two possible years in which I bought the knife set, and the mail order catalog/company I purchased it from. In the event of a tie, I will draw names from a cat.

Again, submit your answer in comments. Contest deadline is Wednesday, December 14, 11:59 p.m. EST

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