••• Thursday, May 04, 2006

ABC-A Long Time Comin' 

What the H?
For weeks now, I have been planning to do my husband.

For H.

Despite all my good'n wifely intentions, it just didn't work out, timewise. As in I ain't got none. And in matters such as doing your husband. For H. Timing is everything. Sorry honey. ::There's still X.::

H is for Headpiece

The last time I got married was in August of 1999. Two weeks before the big day, I decided it was time to find a headpiece. Because the wedding was going to be small and informal, and my wedding dress was actually a bridesmaid gown dressed up in white, I wasn't looking for anything fancy.

Before striking out on my mission from nog, I kind of had a vision of what I wanted: A wispy little circle of I-know-not-what, stuck with a few delicate silk flowers and maybe a couple of pearly things here and there.

Just a little something.

Yah right. I went to every bridal store, accessory boutique and maiden head shop within a 20 mile radius of my house. Nothing. They were either too big, too round or too butt tuckin' ugly. I even went to Fruit Basket and looked at little bird nests. Hey, don't judge. A little spray paint, seed pearls and glue gun...it could've happened. But it didn't.

Minus 10 days and counting, with temperatures hovering in the high 90's for days on end, and my home without air conditioning, I decided to get a pattern and whip up something on my sewing machine (as depicted above, except that most of it was sewn by hand).

The original pattern called for a bunch of hand made satin rose buds, to be bustled at the back. The rose buds were not only an integral part of the design, but they also covered the place where the circle was joined at the back. 14 hours and a whole lotta cussin',sweatin',bleedin',more sweatin' and one grossly mutated rosebud later, I went to plan C: Cry like a baby.

With less than a week to the big day, I returned to the fabric store to seek closure, defined as anything that would cover the gap in the back, so I could get me a little pre-marital headpeace of mind. I looked at silk flowers, molded rosebuds and weedy looking plastic sprays, complete with tiny birds and plastic, pearly egg-like projectiles. I was desperate, but not that much.

As I started to leave the store empty-handed, I could feel the tears of frustration welling up. But just before I hit the door, the cover shot of a craft magazine on a nearby rack caught my eye. It was a picture of a weedy looking wreathe. Kinda ugly, actually.

What caught my attention was the wild ribbon arrangement that was attached to the wreathe. It was a controlled riot of satin. And easy. So easy, I didn't even have to buy the magazine. The picture was instruction enough. All I needed was ribbon and a couple of tiny fabric roses for the tail and I was good to go. Once home, I had the whole thing tied up in about an hour.

And I haven't sewn a single thing since.

I started working on this post last night. Before I had the idea to show a wedding picture, I was in desperate need of a head model. The Cakers was in bed and the husband wasn't here to take a picture of me. After a couple of lame shots of the piece just lying on the couch, I had an evil thought or two. As follows:

I is for...
..."I see," said the blind hand.

I found that little eyeball on the sidewalk during a recent walk. I was very excited because 1) It's freaky cool and 2)I could use it for my "I" post. Snort. It wasn't until I took this picture that I realized I had the wrong vowel. But Eye'm flexible. Ewe?

Extra Starch, No Charge
One of my new assignments at work takes me to elementary schools around the district. When I pulled into the lot of this school this morning, I laughed out loud.

You'd think the parents would get a little steamed...


Comments: Post a Comment