••• Thursday, January 18, 2007

Delurker Week 

I read somewhere that it's its itz international delurker week. So, here I am.

I really gotta make this short. Or if not short, at least quick.
Because I'm tired, because:
1)I've spent most of the week trying to slay the Family of Slugs That Live in My Nose and Adjoining In-Law Apartment.

2)The rest of the week I've spent preparing for a hugely big-ass important meeting, which was scheduled for first-thing this morning. At this meeting I had to present a case to an intake committee of people unknown to me. I had 30 minutes to make a cohesive and coherent and utterly on-point presention from about 10 school-years-worth of material. I had to dance it and sing it and profess its every relevance. And I couldn't be late for the bell. Da pipples were depending.

The meeting was not at my workplace so I had to bring the 8 chunky referral packets home with me. I set two alarm clocks and woke up every two hours all night long, to double and triple check the alarms and obsess on whether or not I really packed all the packets. And to pee.

I arrived at the meeting a little early and warmed up to the crowd with some inane banter ::the stuff my hate is made of::. When it was time to start I was really nervous, which made my hands visibly shake as I passed out the packets. Once I got started,my ears turned beet red. Then my face. But my voice never once quivered or cracked. I made my presentation from the heart and not the prepared outline, which is why, I think, it went very, very well, monkey-ass-red ears notwithstanding.

Once I was finished, I was really glad to get out of there and into the lady's room to relieve some nervous pee. After I washed my hands, I did the perfunctory glance at the ass in the mirror and was muchly alarmed to see a quarter size blob of aqua-hued toothpaste on the right butt-cheek of my pants. The same butt cheek that several times faced the crowd in the crowded room, as I unloaded my workbag at the beginning of the meeting and reloaded it at the end, then turned to talk to the guy next to me, which means my butt cheek was ass to eye to the person behind me. Not that I think every body looks at my butt, but it was a small conference room and aqua on khaki is kinda hard to miss. But I still felt good about the meeting, minty-fresh-ass notwithstanding.

3) While I was out slaying mucous slugs and flashing my minty fresh ass to professional strangers, my caseload was conspiring yet again. This time they did something surprisingly clever and rustled up some former caseload. Caseload I believed to be lost and gone forever, to a district far, far away.

But you know what they say.
The Contest
The correct answer was The Battle Hymn of the Republic, but I also accepted The Battle Hymn of the Burning of the School, or whatever, since I tossed it in as a clue.

Using a random number generator ascribed to all correct answers, I hereby announce Amy from Amy’s Blog . Congrats. I'll be emailing you.

I’m sorry, but the 2007 Prophesies will have to wait another day. Or two. It’s time to put on my jammies, take my Nyquil, floss and brush my ass, and get to bed.


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