••• Monday, January 15, 2007

To the Left, To the Left 

Edit Note:This post was published Monday and the date now reflects the same. As you were.

Over Christmas I had a little squirmish with a viral bug, and I won. After two days of achy threats and mass quanities of African Red Tea, I was symptom free. And feeling mighty cocky.

So I guess I have it coming, this revisit of what feels like the same bug, only bigger. My face hurts. My throat hurts. And a family of slugs has taken up residence in my sinuses. So I gotta make this quick.

1) Contest entrants have been, uh, recognized and their names entered into the big book of contestants. It will probably be a couple of days before I announce the winner. Sorry.

2) To the left, you will see a couple of buttons that go something like this:

You are probably familiar with the friendly whorl of the words which started up a couple weeks ago. While there hasn't been a peep from the Red Marker sphincter corner,I am ready. And that doesn't mean I'll now be minding my grammars. Nuh-uh.

By ready I mean that I'm protected.

Button number one is my battle shield or otherwise license to write as poorly as I please. If you come here ready to draw blood with your red marker, that button is my garlic to your vampire, my marked doorway to your Angels of Dearth, my Bush to your Britney.

In other words, if you are a grammatical strumpet and show up in your CFM, open-capped Markies, I am hereby imprevilous to your stains and smears.

The other button, represents my pedant-peeving, specialty. Yes, that would be, the comma. Evidently some people take issue with my comma overusage. Evidently our natural comma resources are drying up and comma whores such as myself are being blamed for their eventual extinction.

One reason casual comma usage is so disturbing to some is that when the comma is gone, there is talk of replacing it with this series of characters: ~#@. ::Personally~#@ I'm kind of excited about this. I mean~#@ talk about your mind imploding possibilities... I predict the pedants will be plucking their eyes out~#@ with oyster forks~#@ in groves.::

Besides, I have it on pretty good authority that commmas are the new black.

So Go Ahead. Mark my day.


No too bad for an old asscomma~#@ and her dangling participles.

Coming Soon to a Post Near You
Contest winner
Some knitting
Some old thoughts on the New Year

Now I'm going to bed.
And tonight#@~ Nyquil is my new best friend.

P.S. Buttons courtesy of my girls.

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