Tell me why the vending machine dude always puts the lemon fruit pies on the top row hook.

I bought a dress online last fall. It made me look like a tumor-riddled sausage with a side of ass. Bad ass. But I kept the dress, and know not why. I currently weigh 7 pounds more than I did last fall. Last night I tried this same dress on and was pleasantly surprised at how nice it looked on me. I wore it to work today.

Tell me, did I actually look better than I thought last fall, or worse than I thought, today?

Tonight there was a Pajama Book Party at Cakers' school. We were five minutes late and the media center was already packed with pajama-clad kids, and their parents. Cakers and her friend eventually found a place to squeeze in, but about a dozen slightly-later-comer-kids did not.

Tell me how 20 parents could sit their asses in prime Pajama Book Party real estate, while some children did not have even have a place to sit?

Tell me that no one at the pajama party recognized my unbeknownst-to-me-mussed-up-hair as Conjugal-Visit-Head.

Tell me there was a certain hell waiting for father who purposely flew his airplane into a house, with his 8 year-old daughter on board.

Tell me how we think we can change time. We can't change time. We can only change schedules. There is no such thing as time. There is only decay. We decay,then die, then decay some more. Time is just a made-up construct for measuring decay. I believe that pre-death decay is exacerbated by the twice-yearly ritual of changing our schedules, a.k.a. changing time. Except we can't change time. We can only change schedules. And then repeat ourselves to death. And decay.

Tell me how you like Spring so far.



I think she's coming along nicely, amidst the death and decay of the last of winter. Although that is a sucky picture and you don't need to tell me that. It was hard taking pictures of Spring because Spring is usually windy.

The pattern is the Mimi Too Long Scarf, or whatever the hell it was called. I'm going to call it Mimi Long Gone because the pattern was removed from the blog where I found it.

Thanks to The Knit'Nabler for refreshing my memory on the patterns intricacy. Hey, it's a bias pattern. That's tricky shit on an angle.

Anyway, I tried several different pattern swatches using this yarn, but I just kept picturing it made up into the tubular goodness of this pattern. And when I swatched, I knew I had done something right.

Let's Make it a Wrap, or a Large Scarf
Let me tell you, I am now officially on the brink of Daylight Savings Time Schedule psychosis. What I really hate is that it kind of tricks you by not being so bad the first day. But midway through day two, I'm Bitchmom Screampants with Conjugal Visit Head, rolling around like a chicken with its legs cut off.

Labels: Bitchmom Screampants, Knit In Progress, Tell Me Tuesday