••• Sunday, June 15, 2008

To the Mutha of all Fathers 

I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. - Adabella Radici

As a third party observer of the relationship between my husband and daugther, I will say that Adabella about sums it up.

When I first met my husband, he was going through a phase that made it difficult to imagine him in the role of steady boyfriend, let alone as a steady-as-a-rock life partner and father. That being said, having just come out of a loving but somewhat stifling relationship myself, I was just looking for fun, as well.

It didn't take long for me to realize that this nicely-packaged-wild-child-and-world-of-trouble was not only a keeper, but ripe for the pickin'.

When we met, each of us had some broken parts that needed mending. His were related to repeated helpings of traumatic life aches and heartbreaks; stories that are not mine to share. My broken parts had to do with a well-entrenched fear of being engulfed and oppressed in the name of love. Issues that now well explain my attraction to a guy who was all about having fun and traveling light.

It wasn't long into the relationship when I realized this guy was more than a good time and not that much Trouble at all. He was fun, loving and affectionate and seemed to really see me. And liked what he saw.

And best of all, being loved by him has never brought me harm. With Eric, I've never experienced the once-too-familiar feel of being loved in a manner that sucked the air from the room or caused my chest to squeeze up. Not once has there been that dizzying, panicky urge to run, or near-obsessive need for an escape plan. And never have I experienced the telltale sigh of relief, with imposed separation.

He was good stuff.
My stuff.

Within two years of meeting, we were married. A year after that I offered up my last good egg to this man. As one last chance for him to leave his print in the Sand of Forever.

And boy, did he.

All the characteristics that make him a good friend and husband have leant themselves in spades to the role of father. Of all those, the three characteristics I hold most dearly are: 1)He loves mightily, with a gimongus heart, 2) He loves loyally, with a gimongus heart, and 3) He really sees her.

Happy Father's Day, honey.
It's an honor to have you in my life.
And your ass, it still rocks my world.

Note: I spent about every inch of spare time yesterday, writing a Father's Day tribute. I was almost done and after Cakers went to bed I pulled up the draft to bring her home and there was nothing but photos. So, I just kinda rewrote this on the fly, Monday morning and it is about half of what I wanted to say, and 1/3 the quality.

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