Butt Beans 2, Human Beans 0.

Today I sent a pass for a student, but the student didn't show at the designated time. After waiting 10 minutes, I make a quick run to the mailroom, then the loo.

When I return to my office, this is the scene that greets me:



Look closely at the, um, hole:



See the gray pencil marks?
Someone took a pencil to my bean hole, then left.
No note.
No call.

That's been the essence of this entire week, people.
Random acts of Buggery.

P.S. The bean remains.

Labels: I Need Therapy Thursday, I Work Too, Pig Booty

Okay. So I’ve been cranking out these behemoth-o-mongo evaluation reports, one after the other, day after day, week after week, with no respite in sight.

Today, while taking a break from the write/print/proof/rinse/repeat cycle, I decided that I needed a little somethin’ somethin’ of the sweet variety. The only thing available within grunting distance, however, was a Jelly Smelly from my little candy-assed friend

Except the pig had other ideas.
An exception to which I took exception.
And a jumbo paper clip.



So there I am, sitting in my office, in all my dignified, professional glory, digging a jelly bean out of a pig’s ass, with a paper clip.

So I could eat it. ::The jelly bean, not the ass. Ass.::
Which I did. But only after a careful balance of probing, manipulation and gentle shredding.

For different reasons, perhaps, I think we both found the experience rather gratifying.

Have you made an impact, today?

I Needed Therapy Wednesday, Too
Last night I was on my own for dinner, so decided to visit the local grocery store salad bar. While working my way through the accrouements, I heard myself say, out loud and very, “What the hell are you talking about?”

To no one.

It just goes to show how people deal with stress in different ways. Some get their freak on. Others get their crouton.

Lettuce pray.

Labels: I Need Therapy Thursday, I Work Too, Pig Booty

::This post is photo intensive, so please spare rib bear with.::

February 18, I guess that would be today, marks the first day of the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Pig.

On Friday, February 16, about two minutes after posting Friday's post and about three minutes before getting into the car to come north, the UPS man delivered me a package.

A package of pigs.
And stuff.
For Valentines Day and just because.
All the way from Idaho.
Gifts from my Not at All Imaginary Friend*, Kim.

Here's the primary pig who I have named Snorts, in honor of what The Cakers calls pigs snouts.



I'm really trying to spend a lot of time with Snorts right now, because I have a feeling that he will soon be stolen away from me by a younger woman. A blonde.

Here are the three other pigs from the package. From left to right, may I introduce
Drop-a-Load Pig, Illuminating Pig and a Pig Bar of Soap.



Oh, and here's one I call Natural Lighting Snow Pig. As soon as I had gotten the pigs lined up just right on the window sill, to bask in the natural light, the shadow of the Natural Lighting Snow Pig, stole it all away.



This is a demonstration of the unique skills of Illuminating Pig. When you push his button, his snorts light up and he makes a pig noise.



Here's a near-demonstration of Drops-a-Load Pig. You only need to load him up with brown-toned jelly beans, push his back...and there he goes! ::You really need to click it big for full impact.::



Well, he almost goes. Evidently, if the poo bean is lodged lodged sideways at the, er, hole, it can cause a bit of a strain. Notice how the Soap has managed put some distance between himself and the demo? And Illuminating Pig just fell over in a dead faint. They are both thinking "We rode in a box, all the way from Idaho, with THAT?" Even Natural Lighting Snow Pig, who had just witnessed her beloved labrador eating his own doo in the snow, was mesmerized.

And that wasn't all, folks. I also received these lovely items:



Some Shea Butter soap, Knitting Girl mints, Candy hearts, an Angel Food Cake scented air freshener, ::pigs need lots of good smells around them.:: and a tiny package of Earl Gray tea. And best of all, a skein of alpaca yarn from Toots LaBlanc, and Company.

Thanks Darlin'.
Somehow I get the feeling that the Year of the Pig is behooved to be a good one!

*Cakers asked who sent me the package. I said it was from a good friend. She then started naming my friends who she knows. When she exhausted the list, she started on categories, e.g. A school friend? A work friend?

No. No. I said. As I was thinking of a way to describe internet/knitting friends, she said "I know! It's from your Imaginary Friend!"

I guess she wasn't too far off. Some friends are almost too good to be true!

Labels: Cottage, Pig Booty