••• Sunday, January 21, 2007

Terms of Intendment 

Yeah, I'm just a few little weeks late for the New Years Atonements and Declaration parade. Like many people, I steer away from New Year resolutions and decrees. I once had a friend who started every year with a new personal rule like "I will not wear stripes or prints, only solids," or "I will not smile in pictures."

While I admired her drive and courage to be able to make the big sacrifice for meaningful change, I've never been much of a rigid, personal-rule-oriented person, except when it comes to touching OPB or Other People's Boogers. With that, I am not down.

But I am not opposed to some good intendments. ::2nd definition::

Following are my Terms of Intendment for the year '07.

Knitting Intendments
1) I will continue in my quest to decrease my current stash at a rate that is equal to or greater than the increase.

In other words, I'm not joining any Knit from the Stash clubs, but I will continue to honor my current level of stress, stemming from how much yarn I own in relation to how many years I have left, in which to knit it.

One of my stash problems is that I don't have that great of a selection, which is kind of prohibitive when it comes to options for projects. Around blogland I often read about people just pulling an entire project's worth of Noro Silk Garden from their cache, or Rowan Silk Haze.

I ain't got mucha nuthin' like that. I do have several skeins of Noro something-something in my stash. It's some thick-thin shit which was discontinued after about 6 months on the market. I only ever found 3 patterns designed for this yarn, and all three garments looked like pureed cocoon on the models.

I have lots of Encore and Cotton-Ease, and some cotton candy stuff that over the years has morphed into what appears to be a giant tampon. ::Hmmm...:: I do have a sweater's worth of Cascade Indulgence, in Peter Maxx Lime. But most of the yarn I own is undoable. Being the poster child for Trailer Stash, I fear I have my work cut out for me.

2) I will knit at least one garment using the yarn recommended by the designer.

Bonne Marie is a no-brainer for this intended intendment, because she provides a list of possible yarns for her patterns. ::Yet I still shopped off the list for my attempt at Ce-Ce. That is exactly why this item is on the list.::

I'm thinking Ariann will be my near-maiden voyage into this uncharted-for-me territory.

3) I will try my hand at knitting a sock.

If that goes well, I will knit another to match.

4) I will try to stick to one project at a time, if possible.

I thrive on chaos on a couple of levels, but mostly in my head. Chaos is my source for creativity, both on the job and in my personal life. Chaos doesn't work well with knitting. At least not for me. There's too much physical shit to move around and keep track of. With the chaos fueling the inside, I kind of like the calm on the outside.

Creative Intendments
1) I will read the manual for my camera.

2) I will find the manual for my camera. And then, I will read it.

3) Until I find and read the manual for my camera, I will stay away from the Flickr sites that showcase incredible photos taken by alleged amateurs who use the very same camera as I do.

::There was a link at the bottom of my flickr page that took me to sites of people who use my same brand and model of camera. I clicked. I wept. I stuffed my camera in a drawer.::

4) I will play with this:

I bought it back in the fall, I believe. Cabana boy just last week cleared a spot for us in the basement. I'm really excited to get sewing again. Hecks. I might even read the sewing machine manual.

::This is the twin Brother to Norma's. I asked. She told. I bought.::

5) I will share more stories from my childhood.

::You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll unsubscribe.::

Intendments for the Body
1) I will continue to learn to accept my aging body, with grace and a plump ass.

2) I will refuse to accept that I can feel my stomach bouncing off the tops of my thighs when I walk up the stairs. Okay, we have a steep staircase, but still.

Maybe I won't get thinner but I will work hard to not get bigger. Even after I reach my 100 miles on Run-a-go-go, I will continue the pace.

3) I will weigh myself once a month, post-period.

Intendments for the Soul
1) I will call the high school friends I promised I would call, after seeing them at my recent high school class reunion.

And not because I told them I would, but because I really want to see them. ::I have a very hard time making phone calls like this. This one might take a while.::

2) I will read more books.

3) I will take definite and specific breaks from the internet.

4) I will get over a fear and travel to meet some bloggers. ::Not ready to go West yet girlie, sorry. You know..::

Maybe south? ::wiggles eyebrows.::

The Endment.

I picked up a pair of jeans a few weeks ago at Costco. ::Yes, I swore off such purchases from said store, but I was desperate and they were pretty cute. In fact, they look good, considering what they have to work with.::

Anyway, here's the tag from the jeans:

I draw your attention to the last item, which should read:
Attention middle-aged women trying to maintain a look-long-gone. We take no responsibility for how your uni-butt or menopausal gut looks in these jeans. All you can hope for at this point in your life, in these pants, is the appearance of having slender knees. Otherwise, shop at own risk.


OMG - that was a great read - I really like your take on things and you've inspired me to make some "intendments" of my own - thanks!
I remember in Jr High when GV velvet jeans were THE most enviable item that all the "popular" girls wore, and had in every color.

That swan was the badge that you were the prettiest and meanest person walking the halls.

Is it wrong of me to hope that now they need the stretch and the slenderizing through the knee?
Does it have ass announcements on the back pockets? You know, those embroidered things that look like the buttcheek equivalent of "diver down"?
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