••• Tuesday, April 14, 2009

10 Thangs 

I liked today's topic for 10 Things Tuesday, so I'm biting.

Ten Signs That You're Getting Older
1) Your boss was not even born yet, when "Brandy" by Looking Glass was the number one hit in the nation.

2) Your tummy is bigger, rounder,and firmer than your ass.

3) Whenever you tell a story about your past, you include statements like "I remember because Aunt Annabelle was pregnant with JoJo,and wearing that ridiculous maternity dress with the watermelon print, and Chappy was 9 months old when JoJo was born and now Chappy's 37, which means Margaret really did see grandpa pass Aunt Crystal the bottle of Mad Dog, just before the outhouse caught fire..."

4)You find yourself suddenly and inexplicably attracted to late model Cadillac sedans.

5) You don't get creeped out when the father of a high school classmate gives you an "appreciative" glance.

6) You get a little creeped out when you realize that old guy IS your high school classmate, who was more than a little creepy back in high school.

7) You can remember when dogs ran free and sometimes two dogs would play on the railroad tracks and somehow their butts would get stuck together and you would feel kind of weird when you stopped and stared and then you ran home but didn't tell your mom what you saw because you were afraid that you did something wrong by looking at it and she would yell at you and tell you to stay off the railroad tracks. Again.

8) You throw out your back just brushing your teeth.

9) You remember when a "C" cup was considered big.

10) You realize that you don't need a pretty body to have a great sex life; just love, trust and lots of practice.


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