We are one week into December, and lots of you are several weeks into the holiday hustle already.

Not me, man.

Just last week I told Cakers that she had to take her homemade Halloween decoration off the front door. ::It was really cute and, technically a Neewollah decoration, on account of her hanging the letters in reverse order.:: Once the door was free of fall holiday debris, I re-hung my favorite Christmas angel on the door. She had been taken down at the insistence of Cakers, in early October, to make room for the Neewollah.

But hey. We're not total slackers. Last weekend, The Husband Formerly Known as Cabana tossed a few Christmas light hairnets on some bushes out back, for our private viewing pleasure.

Inside the house? I got nothin'. And between the daily,increasingly bizarro surprises at work and Not-The-Cabana's work schedule, Christmas is nary a twitch in my inner Bitchmom Screampants' eye.

What I am sweating right now, is the knowledge that I have to knit a sock in the next three weeks, but I don't know how.

Awkward Segue. Please Bear With.
Last January, I did something unusual for me, and threw out some behavioral and personal goals for the year 2007. I called them Intendments.

With just a few bites left of 2007, I think it's the perfect time to assess my progress, and see if I can maybe squeeze out another one, or two.

2007 Knitting Intendments
1) I will continue in my quest to decrease my current stash at a rate that is equal to or greater than the increase.

Sometimes I crack myself up.
Uh, No.

2) I will knit at least one garment using the yarn recommended by the designer.

Ariann and Mondo.
Yes and Yes.

3) I will try my hand at knitting a sock.

Not yet, but that's why I'm writing this today. Because I can still squeeze this one in.

4) I will try to stick to one project at a time, if possible.

This one was kind of vague.
So I give myself a vague nod.

Creative Intendments
1) I will read the manual for my camera.

2) I will find the manual for my camera. And then, I will read it.

I found the manual.
I tried to read it.

This is what it got me: Ghostcakes in the Sand.



At least this one had a little more color.



I give myself half a yes.

3) Until I find and read the manual for my camera, I will stay away from the Flickr sites that showcase incredible photos taken by alleged amateurs who use the very same camera as I do.

Yes.

4) I will play with my sewing machine.

Not as much as I'd have liked to, but Yes.

5) I will share more stories from my childhood. ::You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll unsubscribe.::

I haven't done much of this. And you unsubscribed anyway.
So that's a No for me.
And a Yes for you.

Intendments for the Body
1) I will continue to learn to accept my aging body, with grace and a plump ass.

It seems to help that my vision is deteriorating at a rate commiserate with the dropping of my Everythings.

So Yes.

2) I will refuse to accept that I can feel my stomach bouncing off the tops of my thighs when I walk up the stairs. Okay, we have a steep staircase, but still.

I lost 7.5 pounds last year.

3) I will weigh myself once a month, post-period.

No.

Intendments for the Soul
1) I will call the high school friends I promised I would call, after seeing them at my recent high school class reunion.

I was going to call one friend over spring break, but then Cabana ended up in the hospital and I was afraid he was going to die. But he didn't. So I ran out of excuses.

2) I will read more books.

I read more books.
Yes.

3) I will take definite and specific breaks from the internet.

Done and doner.

4) I will get over a fear and travel to meet some bloggers.

I had hoped to make it to SAFF this year, but didn't. I did go to Knitterpalooza, which was an hour's drive, one way. C'est traveling, non?

So Yes.

Whew.
For a person who doesn't normally make New Year's resolutions as such, I think I did pretty well. And it's not over yet, people. I'm going to knit me a sock.

Anybody know of a good sock pattern for an ingenue?

Labels: Bitchmom Screampants, Intendments