These pictures were supposed to be posted yesterday, for Eye Candy Friday. So how about you play along?




I have not been around here much because I have many burdens of the employment variety, the brain-suckage-ness of which has struck me dumb and dumber.

Tired and tired-er.

Bitch and bitchier.

And I really don't want to talk about it.

It's as though I've reached a saturation point, and the warm, moist substance that continues to fall on my head now goes pretty much unnoticed, except for the occasional smear I find inside my shoe.

And I really don't want to talk about that.

Itty Bitty Booty Committee
I have no idea why this picture is sideways.



Anyway.

This is all the knitting that has been accomplished around here over the last four weeks. Two tiny socks. And I only finished the last one today, so I could add a picture for this post.



The Specs...

Pattern: Ribbed sock pattern, made wee-wee tiny.
Yarn: Leftover brownish blend sock yarn.

Otherwise, I don't want to talk about it.

What Once Was Ingenue, is Now Old Again.
In the time I have spent on the knit, unknit and reknit of Ingenue, I could have bred, birthed and raised up my own baby sheep to adulthood, and then knit her and her mother a matching mother-daughter sweater set.

And what I have to show for all that, is not a lot.
And after that, I don't want to talk about it.

The New Face(book)of Friendship and the Spoiling of Time.
Yeah. I joined. Under pressure. I kinda don't get it, but that doesn't keep me from looking at my page several times an hour a day, checking and rechecking for FB's special purpose to be revealed.

Two things I am greatly enjoying about FB: 1) Smartassing via comments with my handful of friends. 2)I stalked out my best friend from middle school and we've been having fun catching up. She is one of the happiest "friendship" memories of my life (yeah, the whole 50 years of it) and the cadence and tone of her written communications feel like home to me. She lives near the cottage and we're hoping to meetup some time over the next few months.

I think a part of me was expecting FB to be like blogging, but more interactive. But it isn't, and never can be. And that's a good thing.

And about the potential (ha) time suck and triggers for latent, obsessive behavior patterns...I don't want to talk it.

Wrapper Up In a Butterfly Net
One thing I can say about blogging that I am appreciating at this moment is the freedom to create obscure subject headings.

Anyway. I certainly have more to talk about, but I am trying hard not to Barf the Brain, as I am wont to do in these increasingly infrequent posts.

So, g'day.

Labels: I Work Too, Knit Done, Pho-Ho', When Knitting You is Hurting Me

It's the last day of my midwinter break and I am, of course, lamenting all that I didn't accomplish on my list of to-do's. ::I realize that it is still early in the day, but I also am intimately familiar with the dysfunctional nature of my relationship with the day-off-time-space-procrastination continuum: Abusive.::

The main thing I wanted to accomplish this weekend was post my New Years Ides of February Some Time in 2009 intendments post, including a personal review of 2008.

Why bother now? You ask.
Because I need to.

Even though I didn't write an intendment post of 2008, I did have my good intendments, and remembered them, and attempted them. They are still a work in progress, however. And I think I do better when I put a font on them. And the primary reason I keep this blog is because it helps me be better at, well, living me, better.

Meh. So much for giving up contemplating my navel, for lint. ::say it out loud, with a alternate spelling, it's better.::

What I have accomplished during my break. So far:
1) Laundry.

2) I stuffed the freezer with three home cooked meals. While this activity doesn't sound much like the hallmark of a relaxing weekend to you, it really is to me. First, I love to cook, as long as I have means, motive and opportunity. ::If you could see my kitchen after I make a yum-cooked meal,you would see the connection to a crime scene.:: Secondly, a well-packed freezer is a huge stress reducer in a hectic work week, and we were freezing on empty. This weekend's menu items included a baked turkey breast, with my favorite Thanksgiving gravy and mashed potatoes. In the freezer: Chunked turkey in gravy.

Another freezer-friendly favorite accompli was Pioneer Woman's Chicken Spaghetti . It makes a huge batch anyway, and I double it. I hit a big sale on chicken breasts last week, so used those, but my favorite chicken choice is a rotisserie chicken from the grocery in that it's easier and less expensive.

Meal number three was Black Bean Cuban Stew. It's a very simple recipe, but the combination of flavors and textures (cilantro and lime are musts), makes it oddly addicting. I puree about 1/3 of the beans for added texture.

3) Cottage Cleaned the house. I invented the Cottage Clean for the house a couple of months ago, when I realized that between the consorted efforts of Cabana and me, we could clean the cottage, top to bottom in less than two hours

4) Knitting.



I finally started my Ingenue (Ravelry link), which was supposed to be knit in conjunction with Kristi knitting hers via a mini-knit-along. I fell behind. Her kids fell sick, which allowed her fall ahead, via midnight fever vigils.

The yarn is Dream in Color worsted. Ruby River (or something) is the color. That first picture does not represent an accurate potrayal of the colors.

This picture is more accurate, and was taken in the car en route to visit college boy, a weekend back.



This shot, well, it makes me think things. You?



I knit on this for several hours yesterday, which was wonderful. Last night I finished up the last shoulder/sleeve increase. A final count of stitches revealed a few a-num-olies (I was short three stitches total), which was fixable merely an extra round of increases. Unfortunately, I also found a blooper of the significant variety: A stitch marker had somehow jumped a stitch, so one of my raglan increase trails kind of, well, trailed off. I typically prefer to rip at the end of the day, so when I pick up the piece again, the pain has been moderately assuaged through the aid of sleep and the Memory Arrangement brain feature.

Today, I kno knit.

Today, I Ascend Maslow's Hierarchy of Beads



I have kind of figured out a workable rhyme and rhythm to making the stitch markers. Through several rounds of trial and error, including a couple faulty, impulsive internet purchases, I have learned following:

1) Don't make faulty, impulsive internet purchases.

2) A cool bead does not always make a cool stitch marker.
3)If you pay $2.00 for a 2 pound bag of random furnace beads, marked "as is", don't expect the beads to possess typical, bead-like attributes, such as symmetry and wholeness. Or holes.

4)If you pay $2.00 for a 2-pound bag of random furnace beads, expect a 2-pound bag of colorful, chipped, tube-shaped marbles.

5) Rubber gloves killed the Superglue Stupid.

6) Remember to lock Bella out of the office when I'm working with the glue. She is cat, therefore, she Must Sit On It. No matter what It is.

I brought some samples of my markers to show at work, and ended up selling about 20 of them. One woman tried snatching the last of one design straight out of another woman's hand. "I'll take those..." Before it came to blows, I promised to make another batch, just for her. She paid up front. Now that I've lazily saturated the local market with product, I should probably seek further marketing horizons. Seeing as how I've not much time and neither am I much of cold call solicitor, I'm going to have to get clever.

Effin' O



My first FO of 09. Socks for a friend at work, who special ordered it through Buy It Now, Get it Later feature at a charity auction.

Yarn: Lana Grossa something.
Pattern: My own, using a 2 stitch cable pattern.

Comments: The cable shows up better in person than in photo. Even in real life, the cable gets a bit lost the marly-ness of this yarn. I will use the pattern again, on a plain colored yarn. And will probably cable every third row instead of every other. This yarn is pretty and the recipient likes it. The pattern was kind of ruined for me when I noted that between the grays, reds and pinks, it brought to mind the insides of freshly imploded road kill. You're welcome.

Oh, Fur Cripes Sake
I found this shot in my camera when I dumped my last picture load.



Just goes to show that we all have our burdens to bear.

Speaking of burdens, the other day Cheddar chewed off another Barbie foot. This time, instead of presenting his usual M.O. of selecting from the daily Pile-O-Barbie on the floor (I mean, they practically ask for it, under those circumstances), he hunted his prey directly from the toy shelf. As punishment, he received two separate verbal chastisements from Cabana and me.

I don't know if it's the steroids he's on for his arthritis, or maybe the consumed Barbie ankle took a bad turn, but after the consecutive tongue-lashings, he went into a full blown, pre-pubescent female snit. First, he refused to eat his "welcome back to the house" treat after his potty break. Rejection of food? Unprecedented.

Usually Cheddar goes to bed with me, after I close up the downstairs. The second that the TV goes off, he moves to the bottom of the staircase and patiently waits for me to lock the door and turn off the lights so I can scoop his butt up the stairs (He has taken a couple bad falls and requires constant supervision on the stairs.)

On the night in question, at about 11:00, with the lights still glaring and T.V. still blaring, he walked to the stairway and scooped his own butt up. When I heard the usually thump-thump-thump of his lame-ass bunny hop, overhead, I thought the house was under seige. When I realized it was him, I was kind of scared to go upstairs. He NEVER goes to bed without me. Ever.

When I walked into the bedroom, his eyes were black with full blown bitch. When I spoke to him in my special Cheddar voice and approached him for a pet, he did not look at me, or assume the Pet Position or wag his tail. Although I did observe a brief quiver in the very tip of his tail, which I immediately feared as a signal he would be lunging for my jugular any moment.

I'm happy to report none of us were mauled, gnawed or angrily humped on our sleep. Well, at least not by a dog.

P.S. I hear California is sending us a possible Snow Day tomorrow. Can you imagine...?

Labels: Knit Done, Knit In Progress

Perspective
Yesterday I had a bad day at work. There was no one big thing, really, but several big things. In relation to one another, these things presented themselves with eerily precise un-timeliness. With the combination of perfect choreography and the immediate, negligible impact of each event, it was almost spooky.

Think Tchiakovsky, in a mosh pit.

I was so fried by the end of the day, that as I walked to my car I was overcome with the happy thought: " Yay! It's the parking lot!" You know, like "Yay! it's the weekend!" Except it wasn't. The weekend. It was just the parking lot.

My Big Behind
I'm behind in all things everything.
Especially the knitting, blogging, thinking and drinking.

I did finish one of my baby cable socks. I was supposed to be done with these by early January. They are for my boss who won them in a silent auction. Well, it wasn't a true bid. She asked me if she could pay me to knit her a pair of socks and I told her I'd do it for a cash donation to the charity event. I need to get this task behind me, cuz I'm sick to death of knitting under mandated duress.




One of my Mission Possible '08 goals was to complete this sleeveless sweater that I nearly completed when my blog was two months old. For five years it remained in a perpetual state of Undead, awaiting only side seams.



Every time I took it out to complete it, I thought "ew". When I put it up to me and looked in the mirror, I thought "ew, ew." And after sewing the front and back together, I put it on and thought "Too big. Too burly. Make me want to gag and hurly." Followed by, “Ew. Ew. Ew.”

I approached the final 15 minutes of production with dread. Convinced this sweater was not the one for me, I found myself thinking of potential recipients. When I finished it, I did try it on just as my husband walked into the room.

"That looks gooood..." He said, while wiping a string of spittle from his chin. ::Interpret as: "Those boobs look gooood..."::

With the assumption that my husband was seeing me through testosterone colored glasses, I went to the mirror to see for myself, and was pleasantly surprised at what I saw.

Yesterday I wore it to work as a component of this ensemble, and felt mod and sassy all day long.



And yes, my boobs looked gooood. ::I probably should have stuffed a couple of empty rubber maid bowls in there, in the spirit of fair and accurate reporting. And I don't usually stand that straight.::


P.S. The sweater pattern was an Elann freebie and the yarn is Reynolds Cabana.

Labels: I Work Too, Knit Done

Okay. No po*rn here. Sometimes we have to bend our integrities a little, for creativity's sake.

Circle O' Brain Weekend Summary:
Mojitos were slung.



Chests were flung.



Songs were sung.



Toilets did plunge.

Sorry. No pictures were taken of this event, for good reason. In fact, I now realize that the amount of rum I would need to ingest to burn related image from my brain would likely kill me. I learn hard.

I will say this: When you spend 48 hours in a close environment with friends, eventually they will show their shit.

Here we have Sue and Kristi doing, well, I don't know what.



But I will say that I now know the answer to the age-old question: Is Kristi really a handful?

Uh, yeah.

Here we have a finalist in the A-Sue-Metrical Cup competition.



Kellie couldn't make it until Saturday. Here she is explaining to Kristi, for the 14 buttillioneth time, that there are no MP3 speakers at the cottage and that Marcia doesn't even know what MP3 speakers are, and neither could she pick an Ipod from a pea pod.



Kristi responded by once again showing Kellie the Ipod in question, then asking her to rethink the answer.

I Sock It
One of the reasons it took so long to get this post up is that I was spending all available moments this week, finishing these socks in time for my Mother-In-Law's birthday, which was Wednesday. We were originally to meet her for lunch that day, but things got switched up and we're seeing her Friday. But I was ready, dammit!

Pattern: Tidepool. Again.
Yarn: Knitpicks Essentials. Meteor Twist. It's very soft and kind of splitty.

And now it's time for me to make like a cheap yarn. And split.

P.S. Kristi has posted some pictures too. They look a lot like mine. The Circle of Brain is small. We like to keep it simple. We also talk a lot about holes. But I'll let someone else pick that up.

P.P.S. Umm...that's a camera Kristi is showing to Kel, isn't it? And not an Ipod...

Labels: Boobs and Pee and Poo, Circle of Brain, Cottage, Knit Done, The Horsemen Knew Her

I started writing this post last week Sunday, while still in my jammies and operating under the mistaken belief that I had an entire afternoon yawning before me.

It's amazing how quickly a yawn of an afternoon can turn into a gasp and then a choke. Then, between a week's worth of work things, home things and internetz-distraction-things,the knife ran away with the spoon.

Let Me Invitate You
My sister and I are throwing my niece a wedding shower June 14, which means the invitations needed to go out this week. During the preliminary planning discussion, it was decided that it would be a quite cute and clever if we ::me:: were to make the invitations,using my niece’s “Save the Date” picture. ::It’s a family curse, this Need to Make Things One Can Much More Easily Buy From the Store Without Anyone Giving A Rat’s Ass::

My original plan was to keep it simple. Plain card. The picture. Simple matting. Lovely Script. Done and Doner.

However, the only digital sample my niece had was tiny size, so when I resized it to fit the card her pixels were showing. ::The kind of thing she should save for the honeymoon, really.::

Next thing you know I’m over at Big Huge Labs, in search of the perfect solution. And the entire time I'm foto fiddling over there, I'm thinking to myself,Why am I doing this,when I can just go to the store tomorrow,buy some invitations, put them in the mail and nobody will give a rat’s ass?.

And then I found a most excellent Big Huge Labs application combo, printed it up and made a prototype invite. Even though it was cute, it still needed a little something. Like a tiny satin bow. So I go back to the store for the bow.

And then I decided it needed a little something more. Like a pearl bead. So back to the store I go.

And then I tried to write the shower information real neat, using a tiny Sharpie bought just for this purpose. And it looked like asswrite.

And then I thought I'll just go buy some damn invitations, because, really, who will give a rat’s ass?

But instead of buying already-made invitations, I bought sheets of clear labeling material, upon which I could print the shower information, then cut it out and stick it to a card, 25 times.

But only after I accurately cropped each picture, at just the right angle, which was not a right angle, and stick it to a card, 25 times.

And then there was the ribbon sticking.

And the pearl sticking.

Two sticky days later...voila!



At one point late Saturday night, my husband came by and asked how it was going. After a whinge and a huff and a series of poor little mes, I said "This is really a pain. Especially when you consider that I could just buy some invitations, send them out, and nobody would give a rat's ass."

He nodded and said "But they are really cool. You did a nice job."

Then I looked at the pile and thought "Yeah. I did."

And the truth is, regardless of the element of pain in the assedness, I really love this stuff.

And I did do a good job.
And I give a rat's ass. That's who.

If It Weren't For Bad Knit,I'd Have No Knit at All.
A couple of weeks ago I started a pair of socks for my mother-in-law. Over the Circle of Brain weekend, I got quite a bit done and by Sunday night I had turned the heel and picked up the gussetts. Two rounds of decrease later, I found a big ol' boo-boo, from days ago. So I ripped.

I've done nothing since.

Except this:



It's a scarf I knit for my sister. For her birthday. Last year.

It's been stewing in a bag all year, awaiting a kitchener application. I finally got around to it last weekend, just in time for the two week anniversary of her most recent birthday celebration.

And to think I coulda just bought her something.

Mother's Day Intervention
Overheard at Mother's Day party:

Niece: That wine has a really strong smell.

Cakers, full drama: Oh. I know. We get that smell ALL the time, at my house. Especially by the computer.

Entire Family: Silence.

There'll be more on how to punish a 6 year-old for doing nothing wrong, later in the show.

::Edited 5/17 for typos wordos and grammos.::

Labels: Knit Done

I finished the Kipling last night, amidst the chaos of hosting Easter Dessert for my family of origin.

Here's a normal view:



Here's the Tool view (observation courtesy of College Boy):



Here's the specs:

Pattern: Kipling

Yarn: Cherry Hill Cotton

Notes: Cute sweater.Quick knit.Confusing directions at times, but we appeared to have all survived, didn't we now? I skipped the turned-up, whip-stitched hems and performed some ribbing instead. I also skipped the short row cap on the sleeve because I couldn't figure out how to divide the cap into five evenly spaced segments and I wanted to finish the sweater before the recipient hit puberty.

It is a very fast knit and cute. Ree. Cute.

Bit-o-Busy
And it goes something like this: Last Wednesday I was up late preparing for my turn to lead the Brownie session on Thursday. Thursday I lead Brownies. Friday was the day before Cabana's birthday and a huge ass blizzard, which provided the worst commute home all season. Saturday was Cabana's birthday and High School Musical on Ice and Sunday we had dinner at In-laws, then my family over for dessert.

I didn't sleep well all weekend in anticipation of a hugely stressful meeting today, which went worse than I obsessively imagined.I am now kicking myself for losing the sleep, because it got me nothing but tired. Tuesday is Cakers' Student-Lead P/T conference, Wednesday is the first night of the school play and the second showing is Friday.

So, this is probably about all you're getting outta me this week. For the record, it's taken me about 7 minutes to write these last two sentences.

But that's not stopping me from writing...

An Open Letter to the Lady With the Bodacious Booty, Who Was in Front of Me at the Grocery Check Out.
Dear Lady as Mentioned in Above Title: Yes, your ass is fine. But I'm pretty sure you already know this, seeing as how you repeatedly shifted your weight from one bodacious cheek to the other, while trying to catch a glimpse of it from the corner of your eye. And yes, that is some amount of Bodaciousness, that can be seen peripherally, with one's own eye.

Anyway. Lady. What I really want to know is what did you think was going to happen at the end of the seven or eight minutes that it took the cashier to ring up and bag your groceries? That the Hand of the Lord was going to swoop down from above and pluck a sweaty wad of 20's from your Living Bra and hand it to the cashier?

Instead of popping your Lady Humps for the duration, do you think that that your time in line would be better spent by you digging in your bra/boot/snatch/purse/cigarette case in search of a method of payment? And what about how you stared at the cashier like she was speaking Cotton-Ease, when she repeated the grand total for the third time?

Dear Lady. Never mind. I don't want to know.

Labels: Knit Done, Three Legged River Dancer, Wild aRandoment

Pattern: A Bastardization of Cornelia Tuttle Hamilton's Willamsbro.

Yarn: Encore

What I Didn't Do: Read the directions all the way through before starting, nor did I look at the picture closely and neither did I comprehend that the contrast yarn was suppose to be a weight or two up from the main. I cast on with the contrast without realizing that the contrast was added later, by picking up stitches along the bottom and knitting in stockinette. So there I was, in the contrast part, cabling along with the main color part and when I realized the error of my cables, I decided I was keeping it as is. I also changed the cable pattern, on purpose.

Please excuse the jammies and the unwashed face and electric hair. With the temps hovering at 147 degrees below zero, in the shade, it's been Sunday Morning 'round here, all day.

And no, she's not signing to her homies. That's just standard Cakers' Sunday- Morning-All-Day casual fare.

Snow Rest for the Dreary
I tried to capture a shot of the blizzardy Snow Devils blowing down the street, but apparently, like witches and vampires, their images cannot be captured.

So instead, I bring you Shiver Me Timbers:



Shiver you.
Shiver me.
Shiver shadows
From a tree.

P.S. Today's Finished Object is sponsored by Mission Possible '08.

Labels: Bad Poetry, Knit Done, Missionary Style '08

The Dull
F.O. F.O.
I bore to tears, I know.
But no dull Sheila
When I drink Tequila.
F.O. F.O.

Anyway.

This is a hat.



This is another hat.



I knit these hats Mission-ary style, out of the Noro Fuji-no-Mojo. They will be donated to a chemo cap drive.



The Girl Grown Fast
Remember this little Nugget?



I posted that picture my first year In-Blog. Would you believe that she is currently wrapping up a very successful, premier season as a Girl Scout Cookie representative? She even made a couple cold calls.

And last night we received the much awaited phone call, with the news that she was selected to be in her school's production of Alice in Wonderland, as Gardner No. 3::Over 100 students tried out for 24 roles.::

The Girl Grown Wise
About once a week, in lieu of reading a bedtime story, I lie down with Cakers on the bed for what we call "girl talk," wherein I ask her to share a snippet from her day, and then share a snippet from mine.

Tonight she told me some goofy thing one of her friends had done at school. When I asked her why her friend did that goofy thing, Cakers paused, sighed with just a hint of drama, and said "She doesn't think her brain."

Gardener No. 3: Clearly a force to be rakened with.

Labels: Bad Poetry, Charity Knits, Knit Done, Missionary Style '08, My Daughter Scares Me

And No, This is Not the New Years Post. Yet. Still.

Last FO of 2007, Please Meet the First of '08:



As soon as I finished this, I experienced a tiny needled emptiness and immediately wanted to cast on for another pair. Except I don't have any sock yarn.

A pairently, I really am a sock knitter.

Pattern: From Ann Budd's book of patterns.
Yarn: Lana Grossa Magico.

As you were.

Labels: If Knitting You is Wrong I Don't Want to Be Right, Intendments, Knit Done

::No, a monkey has not flown out of anybody's behind.I really am posting twice within a 3 day period.::

1) Sinus Sklawg- For two weeks now, I’ve had this sinus thing I can only describe as Sklawg. Sinus Sklawg. Sinus Sklawg is stuff. Stuff that mostly hangs around in my head, without really bothering anybody. Every once in awhile, however, the Sklawg comes downtown for a visit. Usually it’s at a most inopportune moment, like when I’m about to make an earth shatteringly profound statement in a meeting of very important people. Wherein I am forced to stop mid-Earth-shatteringly-profound-thought to make a slightly downward urp gesture with my chin, followed by the not so-earth-shatteringly profound thought: “What the hell was that?” When I can finally speak, I sound like I’m channeling a bowl of cream of wheat.

2) Work Sklawg- For months now, I’ve had this work thing I can only describe as Sklawg. Work Sklawg. Work Sklawg is stuff. Stuff that mostly hangs around in the heads of other people, without really bothering anybody. Every once in awhile, however, the Sklawg comes out for a visit, in the form of some uniquely bizarre event or Drop-Everything-Now-And-Perform-This-Uniquely-Bizarre-Task-Which-We-Just-Today-Discovered-Falls-Distinctly-Under-Your-Job-Description. Of course this will occur at a most inopportune moment, like when I’m up to my brainballs in Very Important Report, complete with a heavily looming and non-negotiable deadline. Wherein I am forced to remove my fingers from the keyboard, swipe the zone-induced drool from my chin, and ask the Current-Sklawg-Bearer-Who-Stands-Before-Me “Yeahsss?”. This person could be of student, administrator or co-worker ilk, but always the bearer of the Sklawg has a story/task/bikini-wax-trauma that will top all those that have shadowed my keyboard before them. To date.

At the conclusion of the presented tale, I will make a slightly downward urping gesture with my chin and think: “What the hell was that?” When I can finally speak, I sound like I’m channeling a tube of anchovy paste.

3)Home Sklawg-Let's just say that there's stuff. And people. And urp-like chin gestures. And when I speak, it sounds like I'm channeling an oyster fork in my eye.

Ima Gonna Be a Sock Star!
Thanks for all the support and encouragement on my Intendamental accomplishments and for the ideas for my first sock pattern. I had meant to email personal responses to contributors, but over the last month or so, I’ve been busier than a three-legged River Dancer.

Last week we had a bogus snow day. :: It started out as a 2 hour delay, information which was not relayed to me until I was 3 minutes from the office. One hour into the two hour delay, a snow day was proclaimed. I ended up staying for a couple of hours longer, after discovering that on a real or imagined snow day, there is never a line at the copy machine. ::

Anyway, after blowing half of my first snow day of the year at work, I indulged myself in a little trip to the yarn store, where I picked up a little bit of this:



:: It's called Magico. I think I'll need it.::

After some very careful research ::I compared your recommendations to pattern books I had on hand.:: I decided to go with Ann Budd’s pattern from that book with the socks and sweaters and hats and stuff. To my grave disappointment, once home from the yarn shop, I realized I didn’t have #1 needles, and haven’t had a chance to get out since. At least now I have a plan. And some yarn.


At the yarn store they were having a sale on Debbie Bliss Cashmerino.



I snagged three skeins of the gray and two of creepy yellow.

Cut to the Chase
About Wednesday of last week, I realized that I had a cut and color appointment on the upcoming Saturday, and needed a gift for my stylist. What with a handful of lovely Cashmerino and full access to the internets, what was a girl to do but whip up a lovely something or other?



Isn't it simply Dashing?




I finished it Saturday night, not long after I gave my beloved stylist a packet of freshly minted photo note cards.

The stylist loved the cards, and I'm not too broken up about being stuck with some Cashmerino wrist warmers.

::And yes, we have no thumb stubs. After a pathetic attempt on the first one, I gave up. Evidently, when it comes to knitting thumb stubs, I’m all pinkies.::

Maybe Cute, But She Snow Bunny.





::Photos taken off the Auto mode. No idea what setting though. I just twirl and shoot. I'm guessing snow shots are a safe bet for this methodology.::

Labels: I Work Too, Knit Done, Pho-Ho'

I have more to catch up than the time to do it, but I'm going to try.

Week in Review
It was a busy one.

Thursday: Parent-teacher conference for Cakers. Initially, I had planned to brag here, about all her high achieving ways. But I changed my mind. You see, the most important things I heard from my daughter's teacher is that she is an apt, attentive student and a sweet, gentle friend to all her classmates.

And cute as bug's butt.
::Okay. I added that part.::



Wednesday: Halloween. Of course. ::See picture above.:: The weather sucked much hollow weenie, but it kind of worked out for the best. After two blocks, The Princess In Question was cold and wet and requested to go home to count candy coupe.

Tuesday: We saw John Cougar John Cougar Mellencamp John Mellencamp That John Guy, in concert.

I was never a huge fan, back in his name-changing heyday. But over the years I have developed a nostalgic taste for his music, and find odd comfort in singing along to the oldies I once rejected. Maybe it's because the songs aren't emotionally tainted by any particular memory. Or maybe I'm just getting old and cliche.

Anyway, aside from a lull in the middle of the concert, where he sang a few songs from an album as yet unreleased, it was a pretty good show.

At one point I said to my husband, "What are all these old people doing here?"
"We are these old people," was his reply. And at another point, soon after that point, That Guy John gave a little speech about the failures of "Our generation" and that it's "pretty much over for us." We booed.

Then he said it's time for the next generation to "Get in the driver's seat," which caused the smattering of youngins'in the crowd to whoop and holler.

Included in that group of youngins'were five college-age kids sitting directly in front of us. By the end of the night one of them was so drunk that he could not stand and eventully toppled over into the laps of the old people sitting in front of him. As we exited our row at the end of the concert, this guy was still clinging to the handrail at the bottom of the stairs, propped from behind by two of his buds. I can't imagine how he got up the stairs without crawling or being carried.

I said to Cabana: "If it's their turn in the driver's seat, someone needs to take the damn keys."

No Knitting and Then Some
Remember this?



It's gone, daddy gone.
To frog balls.

I just didn't like the fabric. Too rough.

In the Meantime
My hair stylist had a baby over the summer and just returned to work a few weeks ago. All summer I had good intentions to whip up a little something for the baby. Of course, I waited until the last minute to execute a plan to knit that cute cat, Kate, from Knitty.

After finishing what I believed to be the cat head,I realized it was not the head, but the cat's ass I had been knitting.

Aside: I hope there is no relationship between my inability to know a cat's ass from otherwise and the ultimate ability to make my way safely through the rest of my life.

I could have kept knitting, but that would've meant settling for a color scheme other than my vision for the final product. So I ripped cat's ass to frog balls, and started over. And then I knit a paw. And ripped. And I knit another paw. That one survived, but the third one didn't. Paw number 4 was a keeper.

Even though I'm back on track, all that knitting and ripping and knitting again, put me way behind schedule for meeting today's deadline of the Reunification Cut-n-Color appointment.

I needed a plan B. And fast.

I found that plan in the Baby Cable Hat.



Ain't it cute? I was very excited to find the pattern through a Ravelry search. It wasn't until I had the pattern printed and needles at the ready that I realized the Baby part of the Baby Cable Hat described the cables, not the head size of the intended consumer.

No worries. I adapted the pattern to fit a smaller head. I may not know a cat's ass from a head in the ground, but I can subtract. Sort of.

The tassel is a bit awkward, but I still like it. I kind of made it up as I went along. ::I swear I saw an easy tassel tutorial somewhere recently, but couldn't find it again. No harm done. Those years I spent in seclusion, making yarn dolls, finally paid off.::

The yarn is Mission Falls Wool. Green.

Oh yeah. Here's a sneak preview of two cat paws. I lurve them so much, I'm kinda hating the thought of stuffing and giving them away.



Releaf Pictures
I have taken a lover: The Tree in my front yard.
I'm obsessed.

I've been out there with my camera every day, for the past week. Once I finish a shoot and come back into the house, I will look out and see a new shadow, or angle or unique flash of color, and back I go. Dinner be damned. ::The neighbors think I'm nuts and I'm pretty sure are taking turns with related documentation.::

So, with all due apologies, I hereby present more leaves from My Tree.







Don't worry, it's almost over. The leaves will be off the trees in a few days.

And then we'll only have about 237 more pictures to go.

P.S. I love my Spartans. No matter what.

Labels: Bag-O-Hair, From My Loins, Knit Done, Knit In Progress, Pho-Ho'

Wherein She Dons a String of F Words, Like a Lovely Strand of Purls.

A Finished Object.



Do not adjust your dial. The perception of Fair Isle at this here blog, is not the Fault of your receiver. It is For Freakin' Fabulous real, my Friends.

I apologize for the poor quality of the first picture, but it best models the real look of the sweater, minus the haze. For the record, we were using my old camera.



This picture shows the best color, but was not part of the actual shoot. It was taken afterwards, while I gave the cute photographer a spontaneous shimmy.

The pattern is Wendy Bernard's Tomato. And what a Hot Tomater this one is.

As you can see, I moved the herring bone to far below the boob line. ::Yes Sarah, I do have a preoccupation with my boobs. It could be worse. I could have a preoccupation with yours. Hee!::

Pattern: Tomato. It can be found in Amy Singer's book, No Sheep for You and is also a free download at the Daily Knitting site, linked earlier in the post.

Size: 35.5 inch bust. I went for negative ease.

Yarn: Cotton Ease in Orange (duh) and Red.

Commentos: Well writ and a great knit.

Things I Tried to F Up But Didn't: I didn't want to fiddle with increases during the fair isle portion, so I sped up both the waistline decreases and increases by decreasing the number of rows between. I didn't plan this out at all, so the potential for it going bad was great. But it didn't. Go bad. To counter the extended waistline, I also squished the herringbone section a bit by taking out the row of MC at the beginning and the end.

Things I did F Up Without Even Trying: This will be a remarkably short list, my peeps. I know. Who are you and what have you done with Watchitmacaller? Anyway. I left out one row in the first set of the herringbone pattern. This pattern kind of morph's itself into view after a few rounds, so I didn't notice the error until I was a couple inches past the pattern. My knit confidence has been kind of low these last few projects, so I figured the sweater would be an overall mess, just from my having touched it, so why waste time correcting something so small?

I'm happy to say that you really can't tell there is a mistake unless you look real close. I dare ya. Actually, it kind of reminds me of the work of that artist who did the optical illusion morphing stuff. ::I tried to google him, but no luck. He had a coffee table book, in the 80's. I'm thinking morphing geese and some tower with water. Anybody?::

If I Knit This Again: I would make it a bit longer and maybe try it in a much nicer yarn.

Additional, Meaningless, Self-Involved Drivel:After I found the mistake in the herringbone, I started worrying about the shaping and how messed up that had the potential to be. That's kind of why I didn't post any pictures of the sweater in production. I was mostly afraid that online pattern designers are becoming so disgusted with my mangling of their artistry, that they're starting a special fund with which to pay me to never knit their patterns again.

But Then I Got to Thinkin': I could use the money. Maybe I should run with this idea myself.

Dear Designer,
Give me $200.00 or your new Baby Sweater pattern gets it in the eyelet. If you don't believe the damage I can inflict upon your good name, with only a pair of needles and some yarn, check out my blog at...

Yours Truly,
The Mangler.

Alas:This latest success would kind of take the teeth out of the potential terror of threat. I guess that's a good F'ing thing.

So
Posts may be few and far this week. Both of my babies have birthdays and a party ensues for The Cakers next Saturday. That means there's shopping and shopping to be done, between the usual suspects of major calendar suckage.

Coming Soon...a mother's rant on Homework for 1st Graders or 10 Minutes a Day, My Ass.

Maybe coming soon, email correspondence for those who wait. Heh. Like I have that many friends.

Lansing Lovelies: I have not responded yet to the discussion of a Grap party, because I've been ree ree busy and will continue to be so this week, at least. Please keep me in the loop. October doesn't work well for me until the end of it. November looks good, except for one weekend but I don't know which, yet. And yes, I owe a meme. In time, my pretties.

Labels: Boobs and Pee and Poo, Knit Done

...To the Dog Days of Summer.
And so it begins.

The days are getting shorter.

The neighborhood is getting quiet. ::Why is that the children disappear from the streets in August?::

And inservice itineraries are arriving in the mail.

All these things provide, in bits and pieces, psychological acclimation to the coffee-stoked reality that lies ahead: I'm going back to work.

Every August starts with a feeling of panic. It's not so much that I don't want to go back to work, because I do. I NEED to work. It's more about taking stock of what I accomplished over the summer. And what I didn't.

It's about counting coup and eating crow.
And making the most of what remains.

Tomorrow we're going back to the cottage for a long weekend. Our last until Labor Day. The In-laws are there. As is the dial-up that is rumored to have sent the Slowsky's to therapy, in search of their true bottom line.

All that being said: It's time for speed blogging.

Sahara


I finished her. Sleeveless. I just couldn't deal no 'mo.

Cabana took some pictures of me modeling Sahara, but they were horrible. I don't know if it was the angle from my leaning against the deck rail, or the camera flash picking up the white of my tank top through the sweater fabric, or a combination therein, but in the picture, it looked like I was nursing a six-pack of baby belugas under there. Not a lovely sight. Come to think of it, Cabana hasn't looked me in the eye since seeing the images.

Anyway. I hope to have a modeled view of Sahara to share in a few weeks, after I wrap up the Sea World tour.

In the meantime, the Effin' O Specs:

Pattern: Sahara

Yarn:Elsebeth Lavold, Cottin Patine.

Size: Medium

Comments: Really fun to knit, except for the parts that weren't. Some of the language in the directions was kind of confusing. One other thing I'm not crazy about is that the first decrease stitches in the front land right in the middle of the heads of the top two belugas. It gave my husband pause and has me thinking I may not be wearing it to work. Maybe some adolescent clients would find it distracting.

Would I knit it again? I initially was thinking that I would knit it in long sleeves for winter, but right now I'm kind of not wanting to think about it for awhile.

You might say that I'm...

...Sew Over Knitting
Sometime way back, I bought a sewing machine from the internets.

Because I wanted to sew.

But I didn't.

Sew.

And for months, my new machine sat silent.

With the blue packing tape still sticking to its tiny parts and stifling its little hopes and dreams.

For whatever reason,the untaping of the machine and figuring out how to use it felt like a huge project. It didn't help that it was set up in the basement, two floors away from the ironing board, and the only available floor space for cutting patterns.

A few weeks ago I went shopping for patterns and fabric, hoping to feel some excitement and get motivated.

I mostly got a headache. It takes awhile to get your sewing legs back.

Anyway. I bought some fabric and a summery pattern for Cakers and even went so far as to cut it out. And there it sat. I just couldn't make myself sew in the basement.

Last week Cabana did some shuffling of large exercise equipment, and set up the sewing machine in a cozy corner in our bedroom.

And...Voila!





I completed this outfit just minutes before a predesignated departure time for our Anniversary date ::Cakers invited herself and insisted on it including an Underdog matinee.::

My mom sewed most of my clothes when I was a child. Many times I remember her finishing up a hem or closing a neckline on a dress, while I'm wearing it, as the family is heading out the door to some event. I even remember being sewed upon in the car, on the way to the Sunday School Christmas program. And she always left a pin in. Somewhere.

Just like I did on this outfit. Cakers felt found it while at the movies. And I didn't close the elastic casing.

Next on the docket:



The top at the top.

Sew Seredipitous.
Sew. Before this, the last thing I sewed was my headpiece, for my wedding, which happened exactly eight years ago from the day I finished Cakers' outfit.

Last week Cakers announced that when she grows up, she wants to marry Tom Petty.

While at our anniversary dinner at Applebees, Tom Petty's Even a Loser came on over the Musak and Cabana looked at me and said "'Even a Loser gets lucky some time.' My theme song, eight years ago today."

Okay. I guess you had to be there.
I was.
And it rocked.

Labels: Boobs and Pee and Poo, Intendments, Knit Done, My Daughter Scares Me, Tree From Where I Fell